Monday, August 9, 2010

You are not alone....

Harini banyak yg pahit berlaku dalam diari hidupku....

Pagi-pagi dah scanning x-ray kepala. Dan keputusannya, biar aku dan Allah sahaja yg tahu. Walaupun perit utk menelan kenyataan, tapi biarlah ia terkandung dalam lipatan diari yg bakal aku sorok selamanya....

Aku dikerah bertemu pakar psikiatri mereka. Minah Salleh yang sangat friendly biarpun aku gadis berniqab. Pandangan pertama, biasalah...matanya bulat. Tapi kemudian dia ada tanya,kenapa bertutup muka. 15 minit menceritakan perihal ini, beliau akur...dan katanya, Islam memang unik. Dan beliau sendiri mengakui, tidak ada yg mustahil setiap yg misteri seseorang lakukan, pasti ada penyebabnya. Lama beliau mendengar aku bercerita dari permasalahan, cerita diri sendiri. Dari zaman anak2 membawa ke persekolahan sehinggalah kepada alam dewasa....

Beliau menyiapkan text. Dan menyerahkan kepada aku...Katanya, balik dan ambil masa untuk membacanya. Ini adalah sebahagian kajiannya dari orang-orang yg mengalami kehidupan seperti aku. Aku mengangguk. Dan katanya, jika perlukan teman mendengar dia sentiasa ada untuk menjadi teman mendengar cerita2 aku....

Terima kasih Amelie...

Your result :

We’ve tabulated your stories. Read your evaluation in full with recommendations below. You will also receive an extended analysis via email from me, Amelie Chance. It seems you fall into a category called “Emptiness”, a pretty high category of pain. I understand this is an extremely difficult time, but there is still hope for you to feel better – and soon. Below is your initial evaluation that I wanted to share with you. Below that, please find my recommendations for a path to start healing today.
1 – You are suffering from Emptiness. Your mind, body, and heart are basically saying to you, “Hey, what’s the point of any of this without him or her?” The reason it is so painful is that more than loneliness, you are feeling emptiness.
2 – You are experiencing the Reminder Syndrome. You may not be able to get your ex(huh?), the break, up and the pain out of your mind for more than a few minutes at a time. There are subconscious triggers of your ex(huh?) everywhere including songs, smells, objects, and much more.
3 – Negative thoughts - you can’t seem to shake them. Why did this happen (again)? I’m never going to meet anyone. The thought of dating again makes me want to vomit. Don’t worry, you are not alone and there is a simple and powerful method to combat these thoughts.
4 – Loss of a possible soulmate. It seems that you believe that you have lost the person that was the one for you. The one you had been waiting for, the person that made you whole, that made you who you are and wanted to be. I want to tell you that even in this situation, it is possible to heal, to have hope, and to live a vibrant life again.
It sounds pretty bad, but of all the results from the survey, I relate most to the emptiness category. I can tell you there is hope to feel better. I was in this place a few years ago while running my business. I had lost my soulmate and thought my life was over. The story is pretty personal, but I know if you are feeling empty, no matter how impossible it seems, you can feel better and remarkable relief to your broken heart.
I fell to the floor clutching my chest – I couldn’t breathe. Unfortunately, that floor was in bathroom of the 100-person office where I was the owner & CEO.
I knew my broken heart had taken over my life…I mean what was I doing lying on the floor crying? My staff was counting on me and I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I was gasping for breath thinking it was a possible heart attack, but deep inside I knew the truth…
The love of my life, the center of my everyday exciting and mundane activities, the one who brought a thrill and calm like no other I had ever experienced had walked away. I was crushed. No, no, not crushed. That doesn’t begin to describe it. I was left a shell of my previous self…hollow inside. Empty.
This broken heart had taken over my emotions, stripped me of the meaning in my life. I wondered if anything I had worked towards actually mattered anymore. The house, the car, my friends, my hobbies, and honestly even my family seemed completely meaningless…without him. I didn’t see how I was going to get through it. So, as I lie there crumpled on the ground I did the only thing I knew how – I got up.
I got up and I decided it had been long enough. To be honest, the day of the bathroom incident, it had been 2 years since the break up, but the memory was still very fresh. I decided that I was going to search out the solution to healing a broken heart, because I didn’t buy that ‘time heals all wounds’. It certainly didn’t for me. In fact, it festered and grew like this blob of uncontrollable despair that had overtaken my life. I had hit rock bottom and I decided it was time to climb back up and be the person I knew I still was inside.
Here is the reality I discovered: No matter if you’ve broken up from a long marriage or if this was your first love, no matter how impossible it may seem – you can heal. No matter if you are 20 or 60, life can still go on and be not only meaningful, but better and brighter than before. And not because you ‘waited’ for time to heal, but because there is a way to heal your broken heart.
If you have a broken heart, we are bonded by a shared experience. I consider you a friend. Please listen to my story as a friend…
What I described above is a true story. I was co-owner of a very busy, very demanding technology business, and I was a disaster. I had lost the love of my life and time wasn’t healing my wounds. I decided to fight back. I researched to find a solution to my heartbreak. As I said, I saw therapists, I read self-help books, I watched videos, listened to audios, meditated, did yoga, and much more. I was mad to find the solution. You know how I felt after all that? A little better, but not much.
Then I stumbled upon Positive Psychology and everything changed. Positive Psychology – I know it sounds like mumbo-jumbo, but it’s a real science that studies the strengths that allow humans and cultures to flourish. Finally – a science that examines not what is wrong with us, but rather, what is right with us. Positive Psychology studies our strengths and provides practical ways to improve our lives. My study of Positive Psychology is what pushed me to quickly find my better, brighter future. In fact, I left technology, started writing, became a best-selling author, and I’m now very happily married to someone I truly adore.I never thought this was possible, but it is and I can show you how to heal too.
You will understand why this happened and how this will lead to a better, brighter future.
You will find out if you should be friends with your ex(huh?) or not.
You will learn the real fixes to the pain of the loneliness.
You will discover the technique to stop obsessive behavior such as refreshing your email and checking your phone every 5 minutes for a text from my ex(huh?).
You will create a path to a new future that is better than the one I had originally imagined.
I know this sounds inconceivable. I found the path from lost love back to the fire of life once again.
Please listen to me. The reason I’m putting such a personal, private story out there is to let you know you are not alone. Telling you I was lying on a bathroom floor is not exactly me sharing a high point in my life with you; but I feel it is necessary. I have found a way to heal, and now it is my duty to share it with anyone else who has a broken heart. I’m sharing my techniques with you right here.
Here is the truth: Love isn’t what hurts. It’s losing love that’s excruciating.
Inside, you are torn apart:
· You feel as if you will never meet anyone else
· You are scared to death that you will grow old alone
· You are too frightened to ever open up your heart to love anyone else
· You don’t see a point in going on with your life
Your friends can say whatever they want to try to comfort you. And there love and attention is appreciated, but it’s like taking a low milligram aspirin for a migraine. It may ease the pain briefly, but the underlying problem is still there, gnawing at you. Listening to your friends might actually be making things worse. Your friends will help to perpetuate the three biggest myths about dealing with heartbreak. And they’ll keep repeating them, with good intentions, but crippling results.
Myth #1: “Time heals all wounds.”
Myth #2: “It has to get much worse before it gets better.”
Myth #3: “The best remedy is to date someone else.”

Ugh! These Myths Are False! Who is Spreading This Limited Thinking Around? It’s Not Helping You. It’s Hurting You.

Fact 1: Time will heal you when you take real action. You must make a conscious effort to take the steps to get rid of the negative thoughts, alleviate anxiety, combat depression, and find happiness again. We show you how.
Fact 2: It can get better from Day 1 after your break up. That is a pretty bold statement, but it is true. There is no magic bullet, but there are powerful ways to change your perspective and readjust your internal pain centers.
Fact 3: There is a right time to starting dating again. Getting back into the dating game too soon can slow down your healing to a halt and even push you a few steps back. Get the right advice from the experts on when and how to find love again.

Powerful Tip 1: Friendship Answered

In this world, it is relationships that connect us with one another. A relationship bonded by deep love forms a connection of the heart, mind, and soul, and hence, the reason for its great might. Once we are connected in this fashion, is it possible to disconnect? Just because the words ‘break up’ have been used, does not mean the feelings have dissolved. Releasing a love is a challenge for anyone, but the thought of losing the friendship can seem intolerable. Many times this is the reason we keep in contact with our ex(huh?) after a break up – after all, they were our best friend.
So, should you continue talking to them, responding to and sending texts, and just keeping in contact? Not if one of these three things apply:
1) Circular Reference: Your ex(huh?) is someone to whom you turned to for advice. That type of dynamic generally doesn’t change when you try to remain friends. Unfortunately, the person giving you advice about something cannot be part of the advice that needs to be given. All of the qualities you seek in a advisor – objectivity, unbiased opinion, the truth – are lost in this scenario. She or he cannot help you get over her or him. And biting your tongue or holding back what you really want to talk about will just put you back into a place of pain.
2) The Pain Resurfaces: If you still have feelings for your ex(huh?), which you do after a break up, then every time you see them the pain resurfaces at the same intensity level. At Heal My Broken Heart, we are trying to provide you exercises to actively heal your heart; however, these exercises are diluted in their effectiveness each time you start from square one again.
3) Jealousy Multiplies: If you have thoughts of your ex(huh?) with someone else, whether these are based reality or conjured in our minds. When you remain ‘friends’ with an ex(huh?), this feeling is exaggerated. You will be subconsciously looking for anything in his or her discussion that indicates they are still into you or into someone else. This can keep you up for nights at a time – even if it isn’t true. Bottom line, you may be torturing yourself.
This issue is not black and white and requires some more examination. If you work together, live together, or share children, there are additional issues to talk about. Can you ever be friends? Absolutely – at the right point in time. The when, how, and why’s of how to heal from losing love and friendship is what you need to learn.
The things is....dia mungkin faham cerita aku. Tapi dia mungkin, tak tahu camne nak solve benda ni. Masalahnya, dia bg notes utk org yg putus cinta. Hurmmm....apepun sbnrnya, dia yg kena jumpa psikiatri. Tapi ada certain notes yg patut aku ambil...
For me, how long will it be before you can get through your daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over you, without sensing that knot in the pit of your stomach, without dwelling on what went wrong? If these are some of the questions you are asking yourself, you are not alone...

1 comment:

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